I have a heavy heart today, do you?
I have been reading some of your blogs for about the last six months talking about not being inspired.
I feel the same way.
I noticed that no one is talking about what I'm feeling, and that's okay. Its not something that you want to broadcast, feelings of feeling down, slightly depressed, worried, scared. I have some of those feelings. Its about fear for some loved ones.
I don't know if you have any loved ones going through really hard times right now, due to the economy, but I do? It is tearing me apart to see people you love...siblings...children...grand children...be victims of the aftermath of our current and cruel economy.
graphic courtesy of The Graphic Fairy
As a result, I worry. I knew I was a worrier, but haven't had a lot to worry about in the last few years. I retired 13 years ago, things have been rolling right along in such a great way, every day is Saturday. I have a wonderful little business, terrific clients, business is good. A few bumps in the road, but nothing serious, other than losing my sweet Chester the Yorkie, and a major theft. Okay, some small set backs. But you rise to the occasion, right? You pull yourself together and get through it all...that's because YOU can control YOU.
But this is different, I can't control what happens to my loved ones in some current situations. I can't fix these things. I can't put relationships back together, I can't save mortgages, I can't make cancer go away. And it is heavy on my heart. And creativity dries up and gets put on a shelf, gathering dust. How can I possibly go play when people you love are hurting so badly?
I had a long talk last night with WH, and he really helped me put things in perspective. He talked about taking all these things and separating them out. Deal with one situation at a time, and whether or not you can affect it. Break them all down into little things. Don't wad them up and let it consume you. I thought hard about that, and my first gut reaction was, "then I wouldn't care".
Wrong. I think by separating these issues, and dealing with what I can affect, is a great way to not only look at the big picture, but a healthier way as well. I was in advertising management for years, and remember how all the people that reported to me would bring me their problems, every day, every minute of every day. That was my job. I was getting paid to help them solve their problems. Obviously those problems were much less serious than the problems my loved ones are experiencing right now. Those people weren't in a crisis of any kind.
But can't the same principals be used? Help my loved ones deal with one day at a time. Break it down into little pieces and deal with that, one step at a time. Affect what I can, and try not to worry about what I can't.
I see today, after sleeping on it, this is a great way to deal with my worry. Every single predicament will move ahead, all the details will be tumbled, moved around, turned upside down, and still, the outcome will be the same, with or without my worry. I'm gently and lovingly handing the reins over to destiny today.
I don't know if you have a heavy heart, and that might be what is getting in your way of creating. Our country hasn't experienced this kind of set back in my life time. It has to affect each of us in some way, and even my sisters across the sea. We are all in this situation together, this economy. We are lucky to have each other to share with, and encourage. We will all move past this dark cloud, we will all continue to create and be inspired, all the while having heavy hearts for our loved ones. But moving past that.
We will all move past hard times and begin to be inspired and create again.
That is our destiny, I have to believe that.
Thank you dear ones for letting me share.