Chester's passage

My Sweet Chester boy

Hi my sweet blogging sisters. This is one of those posts I dreaded. I have been unable to bring myself to sit down and type out the words. If I did, it would make this event permanent. So with a tear, I bring you news of my precious Chester boy joining the angels last week. I don't want to get too morbid, so I won't elaborate too much. I just wanted to share, it really helps.

The last four months have been extremely stressful. Our twelve year old Yorkie, Chester, has been ill with a tumor in his bladder. He's been undergoing chemo, which is a lot easier on dogs than humans, thank God. He did fine with the treatments, every three weeks. But the outcome was, it did nothing. He lost the battle, my brave little boy.

How do you say goodbye to your companion of twelve years? One who has kissed your tears away in sorrow, made you laugh until you wet your pants, brought such joy into your life 24/7, and reminded you of when it was time to stop working, and begin playing.

My worry has now turned to sorrow. I wouldn't trade one day of time we had with him for anything in the world, the happy times and the days of illness. At least I could hold him, comfort him, and feel the warmth of his soft coat.

Aren't dogs (okay and cats) amazing? They teach us so much about ourselves. They teach us to find the strength to help them when they are ill. They teach us about the circle of life, in a calm and peaceful way. They teach us about being brave and letting nature take her course.

I have to have Chester's pictures all over the house. His little brush with his hair rests on my nightstand, so I can pet it every night before pulling up the covers. This might sound a little obsessive, I don't know really. I just know it comforts me in being able to imagine him comfortable again, without pain, playing ball, smiling and giving loving kisses somewhere.

When does the pain go away? When does the house not feel empty?

Thanks so much for letting me share the pain.

It feels better, really.